38 Random Acts of Kindness

I've had some pretty spectacular birthdays.

Backyard birthday parties, birthday parties at the roller-skating rink.
  

One year, a friend of mine flew me out to Los Angeles to stay with her. We went to Santa Barbara, had brunch at The Ivy, and the best gift of all – she gave me my sweet Bella during that trip.

  I've had karaoke parties...several, actually.

Parties at bars, restaurants...  

One year, Jeff surprised me with a front row ticket to see Smokey Robinson on my birthday.

Another year, a friend surprised me with a trapeze lesson for my birthday.

I can't help but look back and count my blessings.

This year - as I made out a list of invitees for a dinner party followed by some sort of bar or karaoke shenanigans - I Googled "ideas for my birthday" and found a website of a woman who celebrated HER 38th birthday in a really special and unique way. I was so touched by her blog and felt so strongly that this was a 'sign', that I decided that was how I wanted to celebrate.

So, for my 38th birthday I celebrated by committing one random act of kindness for every year of my life. I spread out the good deeds over the course of Saturday, Sunday, and my actual birthday today, Monday. Jeff joined me on my journey as I chatted with the homeless, loved on abandoned kitties, visited the OB unit at the hospital, handed out balloons to wide-eyed children (it's amazing how excited they were for something as simple as a balloon!), and jumped fences to get into playgrounds. He got to experience the tears, the overwhelming emotion of the people whose lives we touched, and the frustration (flat tire). It meant the world to share these experiences with Jeff - it really was bittersweet.


The little random acts of kindness bags had these notes in them


For all my friends who would like to “celebrate” with me, I encourage you to fulfill one (or more, if you’re feeling crazy) random act of kindness and let me know about it throughout the day. Share your story with me - call me, leave a note on my facebook wall, text me, email me.

Our random acts of kindness:
1). Dropped off donuts at the vet's office
2). Brought shopping carts inside

3). Held the door open for a family at the library
4). Left $1 with a note in two different library books in the children's area
(These were two of my favorites as a kid - "Charlotte's Web" and "The Mouse & the Motorcycle")

5). Left change on the playground in the park (no choking hazards, promise)

6). Gave a grandmother, with two small grand kids, at the laundromat the exact change for her wash - this was one of the most emotional moments of the day

7). Gave a little girl outside WalMart a pink balloon
8). Left quarters in the toy machines inside WalMart

9). Gave a blue balloon to a little boy outside Costco
10). Gave a pink balloon to a little girl in line at Costco

11). Dropped off supplies at a cat shelter
12). Loved on kitties at the cat shelter

13). Left change on the playground at a church
14). Left baggies with exact change taped to vending machines at the hospital

15). Brought bags of candy to the nurse's station at the hospital (they directed us to the OB unit) :)
16). Left flowers with the nurse's station and asked them to give them to someone who might need some sunshine

17). Gave a green balloon to a little boy outside the hospital (he was about to be a big brother!)
18). Brought bags of candy to the nurse's station at Hospice
19). Left baggies with exact change taped to the vending machines at Hospice

20). Gave a blessing bag to a homeless fella

21). Gave a blessing bag to a homeless fella
22). Gave a blessing bag to a homeless fella
23). Washed Jeff's car and filled it up with gas

24). Gave a Dunkin Donuts gift card to a woman with a baby at a bus stop
25). Donated items to charity
26). Complimented a stranger
27). Stacked chairs in the food court at the mall as they were closing

28). Sent a random gift in the mail to a friend
29). Sent a card with a note in the mail to a friend
30). Donated candy to a school
31). Sent a photo and a note in the mail to a friend to reminisce
32). Sent a photo and a note in the mail to a friend to reminisce
33). Sent a photo and a note in the mail to a friend to reminisce
34). Sent a photo and a note in the mail to a friend to reminisce
35). Sent a card in the mail to a friend
36). Brought in candy treats for work
37). Wiped down both the sinks in the ladies room at work
38). Made eye contact with everyone I came in contact with and smiled


There really is no greater reward than the feeling you get by giving back to others. I was hesitant starting out and even ran into a couple roadblocks within the first two acts, but once I got the momentum going it was a perfect weekend/birthday.

Thank you for allowing me to share my birthday with you. Please don't forget to let me know how you gave back today!

Delay

”You may delay, but time will not.” - Benjamin Franklin

My Facebook feed is peppered with statuses and photos captioned #YOLO. Be adventurous! Take chances! But there's an important lesson I've learned recently and that is the understanding that you may only get one opportunity to do it right the first time; we're never guaranteed a second chance. That’s probably why #YOLT didn’t catch on.

Every moment from my past, good or bad, has shaped me into the person I am today. I've made some terrible mistakes and learned from them, but I don't view those moments as regrets, rather learning experiences. At the same time, I honestly can’t say I’ve lived a life with no regrets; at least not after this past year.

My Dad had two brothers, John and Julian, and two sisters, Lavinia and Mae. After my Dad passed away in 2003, my Mom became the medium in bridging the gap to keep us connected with the Groover side of the family. So, when my Mom passed away in 2009, we all just sort of fell out of touch with our extended Groover relatives.

It wasn’t until I lost my parents that I began to truly appreciate and understand how precious it was to spend time with the people you love while you still have them here. I made sure to ask my Mom questions, to take pictures, to record her voice, take video of her telling family stories. I often regretted not doing this with my father and wish I knew more about him and my Groover roots.



Mae Day Groover - Ritter



A couple years ago I picked up the phone and called my Dad’s sister, my Aunt Mae, in Texas. What did I know about Aunt Mae besides I hadn’t personally spoken with her in years? I knew she was named after her mother, Ena Mae; she was born on May 1^st, May Day; and was aptly named “Mae Day Groover”…no joke. As I dialed her number, I got a lump in my throat thinking, “What if she doesn’t answer? What if she already died and I’ve missed the opportunity to talk to her?” When I heard her 90-year-old trembling voice on the other end, my eyes welled up with tears. We spoke for about 45 minutes and she regaled me with stories about my Dad and what life was like growing up with her 4 brothers and sisters. 

My grandfather, uncle, and aunts



My great-grandparents grave in Savannah, GA



I grinned ear to ear at every new revelation and feverishly scribbled down her words so every story could be recalled later. She then suggested I call my Aunt Lavinia (named after her grandmother) who, as she said, “Has the best memory of all us kids” and get more information. My Aunt Lavinia lived in Canal Point, which is a tiny community settled around Lake Okeechobee, lots of sugarcane fields, and only about an hour’ish drive from my house. My Dad would visit her from time to time but, for some reason, I had never been out there. On the rare occasion, I’d see her at funerals and family celebrations, but the last time I had spoken with her was the night my Mom passed away. After I hung up with my Aunt Mae, I resolved to go visit my Aunt Lavinia and spend time with her – after all, she was the closest living relative to my Dad that I still had. Weeks went by…months…I would call my brother, Chris, and discuss how we would go next weekend or the weekend after that…and even though she was only a short drive away, I never went.

I thought of her often and knew I wanted to go see her but I always put if off. Over time, procrastination turned to dread as I imagined I had missed my chance. Finally, I picked up the phone and called my Aunt Lavinia. My heart dropped when I heard the recording, “This number is no longer in service.” I was flushed with sadness, expecting the worst but still hoping for the best as I typed her name in the Google search engine: Lavinia Parker. It turned up just one result: 

Lavinia G. Parker, age 94 of Murray, Ky., 

formerly of Canal Point, Fla.,

passed away Sunday, October 30, 2011 in Murray, Ky.



Lavinia Archer Groover - Parker



There's no way to get that time back. I will never get a second chance to ask those questions (at least not while I'm on earth anyway). I needed to pick up the phone two years ago and call her; a lesson learned, but always a regret.
My Aunt Mae passed away in September 2011, just one month before her sister. I am so thankful to have shared time with her so I could piece together a few of the scraps that make up the quilt of our Groover family. I’ll always wish I knew more about my German/Swedish lineage and about the Groover/Johannson traditions. 

And now, a new generation of Groovers are busy making memories with their families. Armed with the details I do have, I'll do my best to honor old traditions and create new beginnings with my family someday. 

When your loved ones go, they take their memories with them. Engage them in conversation and record every precious word. Visit with them and record their expressions and inflection as they recall moments from the past. Share the legacy with generations to come and keep the memory alive. You (and they) only live once!